So recently I was having lunch with a bunch of friends when one of them threw this myth into the conversation, “Oh, you’re so lucky being single. You have so much free time on your hands”. Um, yeah… sure… whatever… (Great thing to say to someone who works, studies, is involved in lots at church, spends a great deal of time with family and friends and does a whole lot of other stuff with her life)
The reality is singles and couples have as much time as one another – 24 hours every day – it’s just a matter of how we choose to spend it.
And that was what frustrated me. You see, so many times I’ve had people in relationships tell me that they just don’t have time to help others, to assist with something at church, to give that little bit of time to make a difference in the world. And, just as many times, I’ve had people tell me how singles have so much free time and therefore they can do everything for everyone (It’s incredible how often I have people ask me to do things for them!). I can vividly remember a time when someone asked me to do something (adding yet another thing to my overfull schedule) and when I said no, I was met with a look of disgust and a response that was supposed to manipulate me into feeling bad, changing my mind and saying yes. “Oh, you aren’t setting a good example for others if you don’t do this”. “You really should be making use of all the free time God has given you in this season”…
Gosh! How sad that people can be like that.
Thankfully, it’s only some people who behave like this. I also know many people in relationships who balance life so well, giving time to God, their partner, and others, treating their single friends with the utmost respect, and living out their calling in the most brilliant ways.
Here it is… the truth about the crazy ‘all the time in the world’ myth…
Every one of us, regardless of our relationship status, has a purpose and calling in Christ and we should be using our time to fulfil it. Each of us has a responsibility to manage our time in order to do so. This is often a juggling act and it requires us setting boundaries around our lives.
This year, I’m stepping back from a few things in order to do other things better. The things I’m going to do less of are good things, but they aren’t God things. What do I mean by that… there are a million and one good things we could fill our lives with, but at the end of the day, we can’t do everything, so we should focus on the things that God has called us to do. It’s better to do those things well, than to give a half-hearted effort to a whole lot of other things. And what’s more, when we try to do everything, we simply burnout – a pretty useless place to find oneself.
Each of us should do ‘our things’ with a great attitude, and not be annoyed, mad or disappointed when others do the same. It’s amazing to be generous with our serving and giving, and it’s also perfectly acceptable, in fact necessary, for us to say ‘no’ to some things.
Let’s take responsibility for ourselves and do what we’re called to with a willing and joyful heart.
I’m a girl growing a greater understanding of my calling and how I should live it …
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