A friend of mine got married last year and recently decided to get rid of her bridal magazines by passing them on to someone else to use. After searching high and low for some excited and eager engaged girl and not really finding one in need of her stash, she half-suggested to me that I could have them.
Hmmm… I appreciated her thoughtfulness, but the idea just didn’t grab me. Yes, I love seeing gorgeous dresses, beautiful bouquets, pretty fairy lights and all that jazz. But, I just don’t have the passion for those magazines that you generally see in people who are busily planning their BIG DAY.
You see, over time I’ve changed. The fantasies of my childhood are now just memories (well, actually, I can’t even say that. I really don’t remember what I dreamed of). Over the years, my heart has grown up.
While little girls dream of fairy tale weddings, I believe that big girls have a vision for their marriage.
Little girls picture a perfect prince. Big girls know they’ll marry someone amazing, who is just as imperfect as they are themselves. They understand that discovering how to encourage one another to do better in life, and learning to love each another despite your ‘faults’, is a part of married life. Ultimately, marriage is about seeing the other person as God does and loving them with that same heart.
Little girls think about THEIR special day (it’s all about their own happiness). Big girls see their wedding day as a wonderful beginning to their future journey as husband and wife.
Little girls want all the bells and whistles. Meringue-like dresses, the most impressive cake you’ve ever seen, an exquisite venue, a fabulous band… Big girls know that at the end of the day, if you turn up to the wedding, and he does too, then you’re off to a great start.
Little girls want things to be just right, and nothing can possibly get in the way of their plan, or they know their whole day will be RUINED. Big girls understand just how quickly a day passes, and know that however ‘magical’ it may be, it is just a day, a delightful day, but just a day nonetheless. They know to enjoy the moment, but also to put their real focus on the many moments which will form their married life. They know to invest in the long-haul stuff rather than getting distracted by the sparkles and sunshine of that one important, yet fleeting, day.
Little girls want a picture. Big girls desire a life lived out with the one they’ve chosen to love.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not anti-wedding. I absolutely believe we should get excited as we anticipate the celebration of our love. And, I very-much look forward to my wedding day. I know it will be amazing, and I’m sure I’ll look back on it with great happiness for the rest of my life.
I just don’t want to be one of those girls who complains about how that one thing or one person spoilt her day. I recognize that, ‘all that glitters isn’t gold’, and I hope that on my wedding day, I’ll look for the true gold, the real treasure – the one whom I’m deciding to do life with, the commitment we’re making to each other and the fun of sharing that with the world, the family and friends I’m blessed to have by my side, and the God who has answered my prayers and turned my impossible into a reality.
So, little and big girls (and guys), I pray you’ll find your ideal balance between the two! Enjoy your dreaming… and best wishes for your future xxx