Myth #2: You’re just not marriage material
Ever had someone throw that line at you? Oh, you’re single… well, perhaps you’re just not marriage material…
Can I just say, that’s rubbish! People don’t get married because they’re marriage material! There are plenty of people out there who are married and not doing the greatest job of it. And there are lots of people who seem to enter marriage on a whim, without any real thought of what it means or requires of them.
So, if you’re single, it’s not because you’re not marriage material.
Sure there’s some things that we can all do to make ourselves more ‘marriageable’ –taking care of ourselves a little, being diligent with our studies and work, caring for others, and not becoming a desperate, crazy stalker of every single guy/girl we know (not attractive, people, not attractive!). But that’s where we singles are incredibly blessed… we’re uniquely positioned in a place where we can build confidence in who we are and actively develop our relationship skills completely ‘uninterrupted’ (that is, we can learn the stuff and let it become a part of who we are, before we’re ‘under the pump’ of living it within our marriage and family life).
If you’re one of those people who’ve had someone deem you ‘not marriageable’, then make the most of the time you have now to become the person you’d like your future spouse to be married to!
Ask God to help you to see yourself as He does (beautiful, talented, valuable, unique…) and live that out boldly! When you’re comfortable in your own skin, then you are not going to look for a partner to ‘complete’ you, as you’ll already be 100% whole and secure. Now, that’s attractive!
Also, grab hold of the opportunities to prepare yourself to be an incredible husband/wife and parent. Dig deep to learn and develop your relationship skills. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch DVD relationship series, learn from others who are doing marriage and parenting well (and discover what not to do from those who aren’t quite as successful)…
And, be grateful – you’re in a learning season that many people never get to experience! I’m so thankful for the journey God’s taken me on, and I know I’m far more ready for marriage and parenting now than I ever was in my 20’s.
I’m a girl growing and I hope you’re all growing (rising up, gaining strength, becoming better and learning lots) too!
