Valentine’s Schmalentines

V Day is coming. How does the single girl/guy survive?

Feb 14th is nearly upon us once again. I’m not sure about you, but I’m still very much single.


It was a few weeks before Christmas last year, and I found myself feeling concerned about what the holiday season would bring and just how I’d cope with it. If you’ve been single for a while, you may be familiar with this.

I love Christmas – time with family and friends, carols, food, gifts etc. Yet, the festive season can also be really challenging to navigate. Derek Prince once said that holiday times can catch us at our weakest, as the devil knows our vulnerabilities and preys on them. I’ve experienced this before – the moments when I’ve been surrounded by people have sometimes been the loneliness times of my life, highlighting that everyone (seemingly!) has a family of their own except me. Watching other people delight in seeing their children’s faces light up with joy as they open their presents, can be heartbreaking for someone who’d love to be doing that themselves. Sigh…

As I said, I wasn’t overly looking forward to having these experiences and trying to paste a smile on my face (to hide the tears and pain I was feeling). I know from experience that it’s not easy to explain it to others, and generally they don’t get it, and just think you’re being a selfish drama queen. This is so far from the truth, but the grief you know all too well is foreign to them and often they just can’t understand.

“What happened?” you might ask. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I poured out my heart to God and let Him know that I just couldn’t face that pain again. I needed Him to do something!

The most beautiful grace was extended to me. He walked by my side in every situation which could have been so hurtful. He gave me strength when I had none of my own. And he brought me joy. (He even took care of the little things, like having others prepare Christmas lunch).

Back to the present…

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.

I want you to know that while the world seems to be shouting out that only couples matter, you matter!

God cares for you in this moment, and He has grace for you during this time.

I’d encourage you to cry out to Him. Share everything that’s on your heart. Let Him speak love unto you.

He’s been showing me lately how He is jealous FOR me (We tend to get envious OF others and what they have, but He is jealous FOR us – He just wants us!) (Exodus 34:14). Lean into relationship with Him. Spend some one on one time with the one who knows everything about you and loves you more than you could ever dream of. Check out another of my blog posts, Focus!, for more on this.

Also… don’t do V Day alone. Get together with some single friends and just have fun together! (I’m thinking of doing something here. Send me your ideas for celebrating the beautiful singles in your world)


Scripture references: The Holy Bible

Photo credit:

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Goat’s what???

What do you think when you read, ‘Red roses and goat’s skin?’

What would you think if you read, ‘Red Roses and Goat’s Skin’? 

Curious?  You should be…

Amongst other things, Laura Hackett, of Grace Generation Church in Ireland, writes that Valentine’s Day, ‘has, since its very origins, attempted to fill our need for a perfect, heavenly and eternal love with imperfect human effort”.

Hmmm… worth a ponder…

But that’s not all.  There’s so much more!  (You can even brush up on some horrible history).  Go check it out and let me know what you think.

Thanks for sharing, Laura!  


Valentine’s Day … Not the most looked forward to day on a single’s calendar. Dreaded… perhaps more accurate? It doesn’t have to be…

Here we are… the 16th of February… two days on from Valentine’s Day. 

Singleness and Valentine’s don’t exactly go together.  In fact, if anything, it seems to only highlight that which you already knew … you are indeed single ;). 

This year I had the ‘joy’ of having a friend excitedly ask me, “What are your V Day plans?” …. Plans? Really??  You actually asked a single girl that question???  You seriously want to draw my focus to that day?

My point…  I think it can be so easy to lose our focus if we aren’t on guard.  I was given a choice after the conversation with my friend – I could wallow in self-pity or step up to the plate and continue to commit myself to God and entrust my future to Him (I’ve got to say, I could have done better!  It was a toughy).  But despite my human frailty, the better of the two choices is to be on guard!  It sounds very militant and strategic, because well… it has to be.  (Ever had a not-so-great single day?  Pretty easy to rapidly spiral downwards if we aren’t careful, hey)

The 14th Feb highlights all the incredible, gushy things about love that we’re apparently missing out on.  And if we let it, it can be a sad comparison-fest!

Comparison is the enemy of contentment.  We don’t want to go there.  We’re in a war.  We must be on guard.  We must fight.  Don’t fall for the lies so rampant around about us.  Believe God’s truth.

Truth: God is faithful, generous and kind-hearted, and He loves us (Psalm 45:11)!  He’s not holding out on us – He is working all things together for our good (Romans 8:28) and He is doing it in the right timing (even when it feels like He is being oh so slow!).

Truth: He created us – we are beautiful and not forgotten (Isaiah 41:9). 

Truth: The greatest love we’ll ever know is the love of the Father.  Any earthly love we experience is but a trickle next to the gushing river of His love poured out.

Truth: The war is already won – we just have to live it out (Rom 8:31)

Truth: He has given us armour (His Word) to wield so that we can be victorious.  The Word of God is indeed living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and there is truth and encouragement in it for every season we find ourselves in.  Not only that, but we have the Holy Spirit who is able to ‘remind us of all things’ (that is, we can ask Him to help us to remember the truth of the Word so that we can stand firm and undefeated). 

So, we must focus!  Focus!! Focus!!! 

Singleness is a battle – I know, I experience it every day.  If it’s not someone speaking discouragement over me, it’s the ‘chatterbox’ who gets inside my head to try to make me believe the lies.  The struggle is real.  But the victory is too.

And, as we learn to find our contentment, support, encouragement and love in Him, we won’t just win this particular battle, but we’ll be equipped and strengthened to deal with all the others we will face in life (yes, unfortunately, there will be more ha ha).

We’re all a people growing – in our dependence upon, and trust in, God.  Stay strong! xx